WWE RAW 3/12/12 Report: Rock got with Cena's Mama
Rock vs. Cena: The Musical
WWE Monday Night RAW on USA Network
Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio
March 12, 2012 Report and Results
Commentators: Michael Cole and WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler
1. Jerry Lawler introduced John Cena's rap concert. John Cena rocked his old throwback Thuganomics gear and did a very non-PG rap. An older woman in the crowd looked stunned. Cena said chickens***, which was bleeped out. I'm happy as an Attitude Era fan that this was edgy, but it kind of came off corny since Cena is so different from his old persona in 2003.
2. Sheamus def. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero). Josh Mathews interviewed World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan in his luxury box. Bryan was in full heel mode with his nervous girlfriend AJ Lee.
3. Lawler and Cole hyped the 12-man tag (six wrestlers each team) of Team John Laurinaitis and Team Teddy Long t WrestleMania XXVIII. Whichever GM's team wins, that GM gets to run RAW and Smackdown.
4. Mark Henry and David Otunga destroyed Santino Marella in a handicap match. Way to keep the U.S. Champion strong, guys. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth tried to save Santino from further ass kicking, but were destroyed by Henry. Great to see the World's Strongest Man look like a monster again. Laurinaitis named him as part of his WrestleMania XXVIII team.
Backstage segment with Zack Ryder adoring Eve Torres. Eve said they could be friends with benefits. TV-PG, everybody. Divas Champion Beth Phoenix bitched about Extra and Maria Menounos (they previously showed a video of other WWE Divas appearing on the show). Phoenix complimented Eve for how well she made Ryder her bitch. Ryder Revolution has officially been bitchified.
5. Brodus Clay killed Jinder Mahal in his triumphant return. Why did they take him off TV again? Because he couldn't wrestle. Yet Mahal is on the roster. Insert joke here...
6. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker had an in-ring confrontation in regards to the Hell in a Cell match at WrestleMania XXVIII. Some idiots in the crowd actually chanted "WHAT?!" at HBK and Undertaker. You people should be punched in the face...Overall, an awesome segment that had HBK let Undertaker know....Isn't ironic he could play a part in ending the streak even though Undertaker retired him? The segment ended with HBK patting Undertaker, walking up the ramp, and Triple H staring Undertaker down from there.
7. CM Punk def. The Miz. Miz will not be on Team Laurinaitis and not be at WrestleMania. Sucks to be Miz.
Commercial for Smackdown hyped Christian's return. Yay Captain Charisma.
8. Chris Jericho cut a backstage promo on CM Punk, while the WWE Champion was still in the ring. Y2J cut a scathing promo about why Punk chooses to live a Straight Edge lifestyle--because his dad was an alcoholic. Jericho said that once Punk loses his WWE Title at WrestleMania, Jericho will be the best in the world and Punk will become a drunk because it's in his blood. Damn. This feud took an unexpected twist. Great tension in this segment, but also quite awkward and made you feel for Punk's character in that moment.