WWE RAW 8/29/11 Live Results
Sorry for the lack of updates the last two days, TSC Nation. It's been a rough couple of days because of the hurricane. No power. No Internet. No phone line. Sucks, but it could always be worse. Hope my fellow East Coasters are OK. Now on with the show!
WWE Monday Night RAW
August 29, 2011
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry The King Lawler, Michael Cole
Will CM Punk finally get his revenge on Kevin Nash? What about John Cena?
WWE COO Triple H comes out to the ring. Shocking, I know. Cole is plugging Twitter and how you can win a free viewing of Night of Champions. LEGALLY. Damnit, this hotel room TV isn't in HD. Oh well. HHH says it's his job now to make sure that WWE gives the fans the very best they have to offer. Starting tonight, RAW and Smackdown will be joining forces to create a supershow. Wait...is the brand extension dead? Officially? So what's the point of having two World Champions? WTF?
HHH goes right into the Kevin Nash controversy and doesn't elaborate. So much for that.
HHH calls out Nash and says TELL ME WHY YOU LIED TO ME?! Instead, he gets CM Punk. Punk gets a great ovation. Punk says what a performance! Punk says stop acting, HHH. Stop acting. Man up. Tell the truth for once. KEVIN NASH COMES TO TO THE NWO THEME SONG. IN 2011. HOLY S***. Nash said he had his driver lie to Laurinaitis about the accident. He said he had to finish what he was supposed do. Nash is wearing an obnoxiously striped shirt. Nash says PUNK IS INSULTING ME, YOU, AND YOUR WIFE.
Nash asks HHH--WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?! HHH hesitates. Nice HHH chant by the crowd. HHH says he's the kind of man that isn't lied to by his best friend. HHH says he can't trust Nash when it comes to business. HHH says once again, LEAVE AND DON'T COME BACK. Nash, smiling, says he lied and only about the accident--not about the text. Nash says that Laurinaitis signed him to a lucrative contract. He got a decent pop. He said HHH can fire him and he can sit home and get paid. (LIKE WCW).
HHH says he's not gonna fire Nash. Ounk is pretending to barf. Ha! He does this for over a minute. Nice CM Punk chant begins. Get it, I'm acting like I'm sick, Punk says. Punk then acts sick again. And claims a CONSPIRACY without saying it, so he doesn't rip off R-Truth. Punk says The Kliq is back and click is the noise remotes make when Nash is on TV when people change the channel. Punk says it's also the noise his knee makes. Nash challenges Punk. Punk says Nash should face him at Night of Champions since he's a champion asskisser.
Punk tells HHH make the match. He sais to ask his wife for permission and that she wears the pants and he wears the panties. DAMN. HHH stares a hole through Punk and says it's official--Punk vs. Nash at Night of Champions. HHH says he's got two words for Punk and Nash and the crowd says--SUCK IT!
Randy Orton comes out and raises the World Heavyweight Title. So is this permanent or temporary?
They show highlights of Dolph Ziggler narrated by Jim Ross. I like it, even if the two world titles are pointless now.
World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton vs. U.S. Champ Dolph Ziggler
So the brands are back together. Orton is shown posing in the ring. He's like a tattooed statue of David. Dolph is accompanied by the MILFtastic Vickie Guerrero. We get a brief recap of the Jack Swagger-Alex Riley-Ziggler controversy last week. King Lawler actually puts over Guerrero and says she's allowed to manage multiple clients like Bobby Heenan, Freddie Blassie, etc. We're in bizarro world. Cole brings up Edge's success under Guerrero. And on top of her. OK I made up that last part.