WWE RAW SuperShow 9/5/11 live results

Find out what went down!

The following commentary contains adult language and raw (no pun intended) thoughts on well, RAW. Reader discretion is advised.

Yes, it's now called WWE RAW SuperShow. Super.

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WWE Monday Night RAW SuperShow(!)

Columbus, Ohio

September 5, 2011

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim "J.R." Ross, Jerry "The King" Lawler

We get a video package of CM Punk, Triple H, and Kevin Nash hate triangle. Very well done, even if it's still bullshit they spent weeks building to Nash vs. Punk only to change it. Based on Nash's medical history, you would think he'd have been checked out before SummerSlam. Guess not.

We get no pyro, but we do get Cole's voice. Nay. CM Punk comes out to an OK ovation. Either this crowd isn't mic'ed well or they have poor taste in pro wrestlers. Yeah, I said it. Punk is rocking the epic black shorts again, which made it cool for me to rock my epic black shorts in public again. Well, mine aren't so epic. Punk sits in the middle of the ring Native American style and gets a mixed reaction. Punk says he's different. He acts differently. He doesn't have a filter. He says he's the best wrestler in the world. The mind boggling crowd boos. He says being different also makes him a target.

Punk says maybe R-Truth is mad at him and now he's scheduled to wrestle him. Punk says he'd rather face Kevin Nash. That name also gets booed. Tough crowd. Damn CeNation. Punk says Nash is the same. Same music since 1996. Same beard since first Gulf War. He sys he's not stupid and believes Nash and HHH are still best buddies. Punk says he's giving Nash the open forum to come out and face him like a MAN. Punk says he's waiting and to get his balls out of his purse.

The crowd finally chants CM PUNK. Bout time.

KEVIN NASH COMES OUT TO NWO MUSIC IN 2011 in a black t-shirt and black pants. He was attending his career's funeral. Nash says he does whatever he wants and repeats this thrice in various variations. Punk says Nash has more excuses than nicknames. Big Sexy. Diesel. Big giraffe. Big complainer. Nash says look at you. Look at me. Nash points out he always leaves Punk lying. That's sadly true. Crowd gives him the what treatment. Punk talks over Nash and says he's boring.

Punk says Nash hasn't been relevant since 1994 when he first won the WWE Title. He says he wasn't legal to drive and Justin  Bieber was born. EPIC BURIAL. HHH's music interrupts. He is wearing a suit. Stylish. Punk wants Nash to keep walking. Nash says he's tired of this. He calls Punk a cancer. How ironic. Nash says this universe isn't big enough for he and I. Nash has regressed on the mic. 

HHH says normally he'd be inclined to do what Nash tells him, but not tonight. HHH says he got some Staples Center security footage from SummerSlam. He says it's interesting. HHH says Nash knows what he knows. The guy that sent the text from HHH's phone to Nash was him. HUH? Nash gets in his face and says he lied. Nash said HE MADE THE WWE COOL AGAIN. WRITE THAT FUCKING DOWN. KEVIN FUCKING NASH, AGE FIFTY ONE, MADE WWE COOL IN 2011.