WWE SummerSlam 2011 Live Results
Who walked out with the gold?
Tonight's PPV emanates from Los Angeles, Calif. and features a musical performance by Cee-Lo Green.
Notable names not booked: Ezekiel Jackson, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, WWE Tag Team Champions Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga, and Sin Cara.
Aug. 14, 2011
Awesome guitar solo of our National Anthem kicks things off in Los Angeles! We get a video intro saying SummerSlam is the biggest event of the summer. A video package plays about how CM Punk's WWE Title win last month caused a domino effect. Very well done, as always, be the WWE video production team. Funny how this video package isn't shying away from the fact this PPV is a one match show. At least they're honest, right?
And here we go--24th annual SummerSlam! Cue the huge pyro. You would think they'd get the Cee-Lo Green performance out of the way at the start. Guess not. Why is Michael Cole's voice the first one I hear?
Oh no.....WHY?! WHY?!
RAW brand Six-man tag team match
The Miz is out to wrestle in an impromptu match. Cole is verbally blowing him already. Miz looks like he stole one of Edge's jackets. Must've been a late birthday present. Miz has a mic. Better him talking than Cole. Miz says he's the most must-see WWE Champion of all-time. I've heard that before. Miz thanks the crowd for insisting WWE book him at SummerSlam. Miz says he's gonna steal the show--until R-Truth interrupts! The truth has apparently set him free.
He talks about spiders. I've heard that before. He tells LA not to "WHAT" him. That didn't work. Alberto Del Rio comes out! Looks like our heel team is Del Rio, R-Truth, and Miz. Ricardo Rodriguez is IN THE BUILDING.
Wait what the f***?! Why is the three man announce team Cole, King Lawler, and BOOKER T. WHAT THE F***. Complete B.S. Fo' real.
Kofi Kingston, John "I've jobbed three straight weeks despite coming back from injury too soon" Morrison and Rey Mysterio complete our babyface team.
Kingston gets OWNED by some ghetto snapmare/stunner looking move by Miz. At least he's not as hurt as Morrison. Allegedly. We get "Little Jimmy!" and "Miz is Awesome!" chants. Del Rio gets some chants. Cole says Del Rio's 6'5." Are yuo serious, broski? Then again, he did
get raped fight Cro Cop in his prime. Cole keeps kissing Miz's ass and says Booker T didn't get his GED until age 38. Booker didn't deny that. Funny.
Rey Mysterio gets the biggest pop of the night thus far. He's moving well for a guy with a knee injury. Morrison continues to be an idiot and fly out the ring onto Del Rio. He seems OK, but you know, he just CAME BACK FROM A NECK INJURY AT LEAS THAN 100-PERCENT. Mysterio hits the frogsplash on R-Truth. Three count. Fun opener.
Winners: Mysterio, Kingston, and Morrison
WWE Talent Relations Biotch John Laurinaitis demands a public apology from CM Punk for kicking him in the head last Mon. night on RAW. Punk gives a half-assed apology. Stephanie McMahon makes a SHOCKING(!) appearance. McMahon wishes Punk luck. She says he talked to HHH, Vince, and John Cena who all wish him luck. She says "But what do I know? I'm clueless." Punk says no she's idiotic. Steph offers her handshake. Punk goes "I would BUT I KNOW WHERE THAT HAND'S BEEN." Punk is wrestling God. Sorry, JBL.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry